Home

One of my favorite songs from this year is the song "Home" by Phillip Phillips.  When I first heard it this summer I knew it was written for me and Brad. 

Hold on, to me as we go
As we roll down this unfamiliar road
And although this wave is stringing us along
Just know you're not alone
Cause I'm going to make this place your home

Settle down, it'll all be clear
Don't pay no mind to the demons
They fill you with fear
The trouble it might drag you down
If you get lost, you can always be found

Just know you're not alone
Cause I'm going to make this place your home.

This month is Brad's and my 16th anniversary.  It's more than hard to believe for me. 

We've traveled down many roads together. 

First we were in Provo. Here we had our first date him telling me he wanted to be firefighter.  Here he would make me cinnamon rolls and pick me up from the MTC every night faithfully while we dated.  Here he drug me unwilling through the snow just so he could propose.  Here in the beautiful Utah Valley, kneeling across an alter with tears coming from Brad's eyes, we were married.  Here he went to fire school while I student taught and graduated from BYU.  Here we had our first real trial in marriage, the miscarriage of our first pregnancy.  We both cried.

Then onto Rexburg we went where he would attend Ricks college to become a paramedic, where he would be hired onto the fire department for Idaho Falls.  Here, we lived while I taught my first year at Clair E. Gale junior high and coached my first basketball team, the 7th grade girls.  Here, we had our first baby Jordan and in our small apartment many were the times I would catch Brad sleeping peacefully with Jordan on his chest, content to be a father at last.

Shortly after Jordan was born, we moved into our first home in Idaho Falls.  Brad built many parts of our first home.  Many were the times I waited, very pregnant, while he framed, roofed and painted.  Here I took a year off from teaching while Brad advanced in the fire department.  Here I went back to teaching after one year off.  Here we sold our first home we owned and started to rent.  It was in Idaho Falls that 9/11 happened.  It changed our lives.  I can't say it's what made us decide to have him leave the fire department but it was certainly a catylyst to the many conversations we would hold at night.  Here we had our daughter, Mckenzie and our son Ben.  Here, Brad would bring my children to me at school to visit.  I can still see McKenzie in her high pony tail that Brad would style and her cute, chubby two year old legs running to give Mommy a hug.  Here, Brad purchased a motorcycle for me hoping I would ride too.  Here we were accepted to dental school.

Then on to Vegas.  I remember our first day.  We were so hot and sweaty and no cold water would come from the tap.  We went to sonic to purchase some dinner and ordered some waters.  I spilled them on the way home.  Here, we had Riley and Jake.  Here, I was able to be home with the children and watch them grow.  Here we scrimped and saved to be able to live off of the student loans we were alloted.  Here, Brad taught Jordan to shoot a BB gun and almost got arrested.  Here, Jordan and Kenzie rode their first dirt bikes.  Here, Ben would follow Daddy everywhere.  Here, Brad studied at home, so during a study break he could see us.   Here, I ran my one and only marathon.  Brad would watch the children while I went on my long runs every Saturday sometimes taking 3-4 hours.  I can still see all five of them(Brad, Jordan, Kenzie, Ben and Riley) driving by in the red suburban and cheering me on as I was running the actual marathon.  Brad looked so proud.  Here, Ben fell out of a two story window and made us remember what is really valuable in life and how quickly those people who are so valuable can be taken away.  Thank goodness it wasn't his time yet. 

Then the real trials came.  I thought dental school was hard, but moving every few years (or less) was that much harder.  Casper, Pendleton, Moses Lake, Boise, Colorado Springs all those places in 5 years.  I remember traveling to Casper without knowing if we would even have a rental to live in.  Leaving as we decided it wasn't the place for us.  I remember living in Pendleton for a few months.  I remember the cold house and the lice we had and then the job in Moses Lake.  I remember the heartache as we left Moses Lake feeling betrayed by close friends.  I remember for the first time, seeing Brad uncertain of himself, questioning why, when he was trying so hard to provide for his family, these things would happen.  But there were good things too.  I remember the pool at pendleton, Jordan's baptism, the lake in Moses Lake  and how close I was to family.  Boise and the river trail, the fireworks, the camping.  I remember seeing the bear in our yard in Colorado Springs and the dirt bike trail we were able to construct.  Baptisms...Ben and Kenzie.

And finally, home.  Here we are.  Done moving.  It's been a long road.  An unknown road.  All the time though, I've had Brad at my side and he is my home.  I'm holding on to him.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HoRkntoHkIE