Black Ops

Note to readers:  the following is a  post by myself and mostly Brad (regardless of 3rd person narration used).  The first portion is mine, but quickly I was kicked out of my computer seat due to my "inferior writing ability".  Additionally, while the story below is true, the photos included only recreations of the actual events in question.

Behind our house, every year at Halloween, a haunted forest gets set up within the river bottom forest that costs $10/person to get into.  Last year, when we first moved here, we promised the kids that we would take them next year when our financial situation would be a little better.  However, this year, Brad got layed off.  (Yes, we're out of work again.  Due to recent Medicaid cut backs our dental office layed off the 4 most recently hired doctors.)  For obvious financial reasons we had to revoke our promise and tried to pacify the kids by walking through the haunted forest in the daytime.  The screams and chainsaws and strange noises they heard every night provided a bitter reminder of the failed promise.  So last night, Brad figured he would just take Jordan out and have a look . . . after all it is public ground, or so he says.  Dressed in the darkest cloths they could find, Brad and Jordan crept up to within a hundred yards or so of the event until they could hear the people in line waiting to get their tickets and enter the forest.  At this point they went into "stealth" mode and crept commando-style on their bellies for the next hour into the dark of the forest and up to within a few feet of the trail entrance.  They lay there still in the dark on the ground watching the regular customers pass, trying to distinguish them in the dark from the workers on patrol attempting to prevent just such intrusions.  As they crept closer the junior commando got caught up  in some heavy brush that resulted in some crackling leaves and snapping sticks.  This permitted the two only slight movements during nearby screams and chainsaw noises resulting in painfully slow progress.  However, just as they were about to breach the perimeter a security worker heard a rustle and came to investigate with a flashlight.   The two commandos were forced into a hasty retreat back through the forest before a lengthy search of that portion of the forest was launched by reinforcement security personnel with flashlights.   All the while the two boys hid out of sight under an overhanging bank on the river for the duration of the search.  After about 30 minutes the search dissipated Brad and Jordan decided to proceed “Navy Seal” style this time and entered the river that runs parallel to the haunted forest path.  Jordan held tight to Brad's belt loops while they waded down the river past the previous point where the mission had been compromised.  This portion of their plan was enjoyed more by Brad than by Jordan as the night air was damp, in the 40's, and the cold river current was waist deep in places and chest deep for Jordan.  They proceeded slowly but surely down the river and cut back into the forest about 50 feet down from the first attempted point of incursion.  Slowly they slithered again across the forest floor to a point between a flaming propane dragon and a hysterical screaming woman that jumped out of a hole in the ground every time anyone passed by.   Luckily the forest floor was wet grass at this point and smoke from a nearby fire was clouding the trees in a spooky haze.  At this point our heroes were wet to their armpits, near hypothermic, covered in stickers and cobwebs, lying face down in the dark but within 10 feet of their objective.  With no good cover for the last and most perilous portion of their journey Jordan suggested they simply run screaming onto the trail and make like scared patrons.  This would have worked well if Jordan hadn't tripped on an unseen log and had to have been drug the last few feet by the command leader who had already fully committed to the bold move.  So, the two of them simply appeared out of the darkness, a wet man, jumping and screaming while bodily dragging an even wetter boy behind him in the dirt down the trail.   Their plan worked in the end as they were able to proceed down the rest of the course satisfied that their ninja-like skills had resulted in the acquisition of their tactical objective.  And so they walked through the remainder of the haunted forest wet and shivering violently, jumping and screaming appropriately as villains and goblins periodically jumped out of the darkness with chainsaws and bloody surgical instruments.  After nearly three hours I began to wonder if Brad hadn’t managed to get himself caught or arrested and was somewhat concerned when the two finally showed up on our doorstep soaking wet and filthy at nearly 11:00 PM both with idiotic grins on their faces and tales to tell of their great feat.

 

p.s. Chelsey speaking again here.  We are trying to purchase a practice.  Yes, Brad applied to endo school, he got one interview at a very expensive school in Kalifornia.  We decided not to go, that our family needed stability.   And so it looks like we will purchase a practice somewhere in Colorado.   In the meantime, keep us in your prayers.