To my Benny

Ben,

Happy 12^th birthday!  I’ve written a letter to Kenzie, I’ve written a letter to Jordan, it’s time I wrote a letter to you.

My wonderful 3^rd child.  Born 9lbs. 11 oz you were my biggest baby and because of this, my last baby to come without being induced.  You were born as bald as can be.  Well, kind of.  You did have a light fuzzy blonde down on your head.  But really, not much there.  Funny, because if there is one thing that distinguishes you now, we all know it is your abundant, curly, blonde, crazy beautiful hair J. 

Benjamin David, named after two great kings from the scriptures.  I named you after King Benjamin because he is my favorite king from the scriptures.  He was a good, just man who served God and his people well.   I wanted to name a child Benjamin for a long time.  There were different things that held me back from naming Jordan this before you.  Well, mainly one; a student also named Benjamin.  I thought to myself, “I don’t want to name my son Ben because this Ben that I know is loud and obnoxious.”  An irony too because I also believe you are known well for your loudness.  Of course, I would never call you obnoxious.  Your middle name was chosen for Dad’s best friend from the mission, Dave Mouritsen.  As you see, we didn’t name you after two kings on purpose.  However, like Benjamin, there are many great things to learn about King David from the Bible too.  While he did fall from favor by committing great sin, he too was a great, honorable king for many years prior.  I hope you learn from both these great kings whose namesake you carry. 

We began our great adventure after your birth.  That year we left Idaho and moved to Nevada to start Dental school.  I remember you being a fussy baby, but I wonder now if it was just more circumstance than you actually being fussy.  Leaving Idaho for the intense Nevada heat was hard for me.  Losing your dad to many hours of schooling also was hard…as was worrying about money, worrying about the big city and worrying about being pregnant again.  Yes, when you were nine months old I ended up pregnant unexpectedly.

I remember bringing Riley home, looking at your big blue eyes staring back at me and the new baby.  You were just 18 months old.  It actually was the first time I ever thought to myself, “it is too early for this baby to have a younger brother”.  Yes, it was a foolish and naïve thought on my part but that is what I felt.  However, to my amazement instead of missing me, you flourished.  You became Dad’s little shadow.

Then, when Riley got old enough, you took that little brother and made him your best friend.  I don’t think I can ever think of you in your younger years without thinking of Riley. You were found everywhere together and I hope it always stays that way.

You have great determination and you are a hard worker.  You were my only child who sucked his thumb.  I was worried that you would never stop and I would ask you when you would stop.  You would answer, “When I am five Mom.  Then I will stop.”  And you did.  You never gave up on dirtbiking even though the skills didn’t come naturally for you.  You never gave up on skiing even though the skills didn’t come naturally for you.  You never gave up on wrestling even though those skills didn’t come naturally to you.  You never gave up on running even though that skill didn’t come naturally to you.  Do you remember when I took you to the track to teach you to run properly when you were in 5^th grade?  You swung your head back and forth and ran heavy on your heels.  It made you look so awkward and made you so slow.  Just the other day Kenzie said to me, “Mom, Ben is one of the fastest runners in his grade.”  You are fast because you work hard.  You are fast because you are determined.

You are kind and you are accepting.  When you were younger kids used to make fun of you and it used to make Kenzie so mad.  She would come to me and tell me all about it, wanting me to do something about this injustice.  She would be so upset at me and my reaction because I would tell her, “Don’t worry.  Ben will be fine.”  I believed this because you are so kind.  I believed this because you are so accepting.  I just knew that you would be that kid that maybe everyone made fun of initially.  When people saw you didn’t care because you had confidence in yourself, saw you laughing along with them at the silly joke about you and saw you being kind regardless of the way you were treated they would learn to love you and accept you for who you are.  They have.

You are reliable…most of the time.  You are trustworthy.  You are without guile.  I know, there was the one time in 2^nd grade when you tried to forge Dad’s signature. Why you did that I will never understand.  I really don’t think you were trying to hide it from Dad and I but just thought, “Well, I forgot to have mom and dad sign it.  I better sign it for them.”  Who knows what went on in that eight year old head of yours.

You are my miracle.  I truly believe I should have lost you when you fell out that 2^nd story window in Vegas.  When I saw you fall out, I just knew you were dead.  To find you alive, breathing and unhurt was truly miraculous.  I then thought to myself, his time is not yet.  The Lord must have great plans for this little one.  He does Ben.

Keep doing what you are doing.  Work on being humble.  Work on lifting those around you instead of judging those around you.  Then you will find yourself doing what it is that Heavenly Father has planned for you.

I hope you know I love you always.

Mom