No greater joy than to know that they know

I'm giving a relief society lesson on this talk today from the fall 2016 conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day saints.  Maybe this is for my children, maybe this is for those who will by chance read this blog, but my thoughts are something that I want to write down.  Hope they can help someone, someday.

This summer I heard an alarming statistic stating that only 20% of the youth are active in our church once they leave home.  1 in 5.  This is a true statistic (actually it's 17%) but it is referring to the church worldwide, those from active and less active families and new converts. I wanted to know a little bit more so I dug further.  In our church only 30% are active.  Let me explain active here as attending church each Sunday.  Of those active members, when our youth leave home we are losing about 1/3 of them.  Of the youth that identified as members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints when they were young, only 67% of those same children identified as members as young adults.  Another statistic, of those leaving the church, we are losing 78% to secularism.  Brad and I were having a discussion as to what secularism is.  From what I have read, secularism is a belief in no religious structure.  They may perhaps still believe in a God, in Jesus Christ, but they do not believe in any religious institution.

Why are these statistics so concerning to me?   Well, I have 5 children.  If we apply this statistic to my children and round up that's 2 of my children.  If we apply it to the youth in my ward (ages 12 and up) that's 7 of our youth.  If we apply it to the church as a whole that's many more individuals.  And remember, the gospel is about the one.  Elder Natress says, "The gospel truly is about the one.  It is about one lost sheep; it is about one Samaritan woman at a well; it is about one prodigal son.  And it is about one little boy who might claim he is not listening.  It is about each one of us-as imperfect as we may be-becoming one with the Savior as He is one with His Father."  Also, the gospel does, in fact, bring more happiness to people.  I know this.  I have seen it in my own life and I cannot deny it.  This goodness that I find in the church, this happiness, this idea of the Savior's love, keeps me attending despite the disparity I see in what Christ teaches and the way people are living.  Just so you know, this happiness has also been measured.  There has been a gallup study on the link between religion and happiness and our church tied for first place with the Jews with a 69.4% on the wellness index.  The service that we offer others, the emphasis we place on the importance of the family, the teaching of a purpose of being here on earth, the understanding of the importance of agency, and the clean living all contribute to a better life overall when we are living it.

When I was younger.  I thought I was perfect.  Really, I did.  I didn't smoke.  I didn't drink.  I didn't have premarital sex.  I attended church weekly.  I read my scriptures nightly.  I attended Young Women's.  I went to church dances.  I got good grades.  I went to BYU.  I went on a mission.  I got married in the temple.  I drunk coffee once.  I swore very little.  I told little white lies when I was little (I didn't eat the whole bag of baby Ruths mom) but really wasn't dishonest, especially by the time I had entered college.  I didn't doubt...at all.  I was the perfect LDS youth.  I was what every mother and father were dreaming of.  And yet...I was missing something.  I truly thought I could become perfect on my own and even worse I believed that was what the church taught.


One of my favorite scriptures can be found in 2 Nephi ch. 25:26. It states, "And we talk of Christ, we rejoice in Christ, we preach of Christ, we prophesy of Christ, and we write according to our prophecies, that our children may know to what source they may look for a remission of their sins."

It wasn't until I became a wife and mother that I really saw my inadequacies.  And, as I saw my inadequacies, I realized how much I personally (and all mankind) needed the atonement.  I could not do it on my own.  Suddenly, while her sin was not mine, I was the adulterous woman found by the pharisees to whom Jesus said, "Woman, where are those thine accusers? hath no man condemned thee?  She said, No man, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more."  And I do.  I try so hard to sin no more.  And yet, I am imperfect.

I think it is VITALLY important to teach these younger children the importance of the atonement and to validate their feelings of inadequacy.  These things need to be taught spiritually, through prayer, scripture study and church attendance.  These things need to be taught by forgiveness.  More and more our youth are facing daunting challenges.  The challenge of pornography and addiction is the one that comes first and foremost to my mind.  If we can imprint the saving power of the atonement at an early age on these children, they will understand the need to come forth as soon as they have sinned and get help instead of hiding it and trying to be perfect on the outside while a festering boil is rampant on the inside, damaging them.

I love the youth's theme for this year, 2017.  It is simply "Ask".  It is so needed with the bombardment of intellectual ideas that are ever present in their world.  Just ask.  Along with this I think it is important to say, "And be patient."  Realize that some of your questions may not be answered right away and some may never be answered.  Most have never had a Joseph Smith experience.  I certainly never have.  But I have had answers in quiet moments, to my prayers.  Most of the time, these answers were not given instantaneously but came as I patiently sought for understanding.  And some things, I still don't understand.  I say to myself this is okay.  I recently read an article on Fair Mormon that was an interview of intellectuals who had left the church and then returned.  I would like to include two quotes here from this.  The panel was titled, "Loss and Rekindling of faith".  One member of the panel, Janet Eyring, shared this, "Last comment, my Aunt Camilla Eyring Kimball, I remember talking to her during my struggle.  She had said, "You have got to embrace the good in the gospel and there's questions and you need to shelve those, that's what I do, for later reflection" when things aren't clear or appear to be contradictory.  Don't throw the baby or Church with the bathwater." Another of the members from the panel, Don Bradley, when asked how he would describe his faith after his faith crisis said this, "My faith is definitely more flexible.  I am less certain the right answer has to be a certain way.  Before I lost my faith, I would have told you I was never going to lose my faith.  I would have said that in ignorance of what the potential challenges to faith were.  I can say now that really knowing now having delved into them deeply.  Terryl Givens used this phrase in a recent news article.  He talked about a faith that absorbs doubt.  I like that.  In coming back to the Church, I don't feel like I have had to give up my awareness of the negative things in Church history or in Mormon Culture or whatever.  In the context of the larger perspective where I see so much good, those things are just overwhelmed.  It is not a matter of denying or turning a blind eye, but opening my eyes to the beauty and the positive of it."  I love that image of not denying that our church is imperfect and has an imperfect past (because it is run by men) but opening your eyes to the beauty and positive of it...the beauty coming from the pure gospel, Christ's teachings, which are perfect and have no fault.

"And we talk of Christ, we rejoice in Christ, we preach of Christ, we prophesy of Christ, and we write according to our prophecies, that our children may know to what source they may look for a remission of their sins."

From Elder Nattress' talk, "That is why we pray with our children every day.  that is why we read the scriptures with them every day, that is why we teach them to serve others...we empower our children with the love of the Savior and with divine direction."  And just so you know, I am not perfect at the everyday thing.

My favorite scripture:

Moroni 10: 32-33 "Yea, come unto Christ, and be perfected in him, and deny yourselves of all ungodliness; and if ye shall deny yourselves of all ungodliness, and love God with all your might, mind and strength, then is his grace sufficient for you, that by his grace ye may be perfect in Christ; and if by the grace of God ye are perfect in Christ, ye can in nowise deny the power of God.

And again, if ye by the grace of God are perfect in Christ, and deny not his power, then are ye sanctified in Christ by the grace of God, through the shedding of the blood of Christ, which is in the covenant of the Father unto the remission of your sins, that ye become holy, without spot."

One final quote from that panel from Sister Janet Eyring, "I often cry during Sacrament meetings and people wonder, "what is she crying about?" The scriptures come alive and you see your own self, you know you're fallen.  You know your flawed self in scriptures that you didn't see when you were younger."  When we see ourselves in this manner and have this gratitude for what the savior did, then we know that the atonement is at work within us, healing us.

He is the living Christ.  Open your eyes and your hearts to the beauty and miracle of his atonement and resurrection.