Kids, how do you raise good kids?
(My brothers and Sisters and I when we were ages newborn - 10 yrs. I'm the chubby one.)
I always wonder how my mom did it. I'll admit I'm struggling. It seems with addition number five, I just can't keep up and my parenting skills have definitely been lacking. It's been over 2 years since number 5 was born. Anyway I've been doing a lot of pondering on how to become a better parent. There are so many traps out there for my children, how can I make them as strong as they can be? How can I stop the constant bickering that seems to be a part of my everyday? How can I remain calm and discipline my children at the same time? I'm a yeller, a trait I know I'm passing on. So many questions...
Tonight I was reading the General Conference talks. It's my second night of really scrutinizing the talks well. You see, with five young (and I do think it has to do with them being young) kids I always have to reread the conference talks when they come out in print. I really don't hear much even though I listen to every session in my home when they are broadcast. The first talk I read was from Elder Ballard on mother/daughter relationships. The very next was from Elder Eyring on the importance of teaching our children while they are young. That got my attention and I remembered that I heard a lot of mention about parenting during conference. I wondered how many talks focused on parenting. Eight. I read all eight...tonight. So impressed upon my mind are some of the principles they taught I thought I'd share with you some of the themes that I heard repeatedly.
Lesson #1: Children follow our examples. They will listen to what we listen to, watch what we watch, wear what we wear, admire whom we admire, discipline as we discipline, serve as we serve.
Lesson #2: Teach and speak of Jesus frequently; formally in scripture reading and Family Home Evening and informally at the dinner table, or in the car. Teach them that Jesus loves and understands and can empathize with their experiences through his own experiences.
Lesson #3: Listen, listen and listen some more. Walk alongside them in their experiences. Understand their hearts.
Lesson #4: Be patient and cheerful. And I quote from Elder Hales, "To a small group of mothers President Monson recently said, 'Sometimes we are too quick to judge the effect of our successes and failures.' May I add, don't look at today's trials as eternal. Heavenly Father does his work in the long term. 'There is much which lieth in futurity,' the Prophet Joseph Smith said. 'Therefore... let us cheerfully do all things that lie in our power; and then may we stand still, with the utmost assurance, to see the salvation of God, and for his arm to be revealed.'"
Lesson #5: Provide opportunities for our children to feel the Holy Ghost and teach them to recognize those feelings.
And finally (yes I know I'm waxing long),
Lesson #6: Do not let your children's minds be idle. Provide them with opportunities to memorize scriptures, articles of faith, words of the prophets, or church songs.
I'm putting up my first scripture to memorize as a family tomorrow. (Maybe this will help curb some of that constant bickering and calm me too.)
What stood out to you?
I felt like conference was all about parenting, also. There was a lot shared that I definitely need to work on. I don't think this thought were shared outright, but the feelings I got from the talks were that my job as a mother is definitely tough, but the Lord knows I can do it. He trusts me to do my best and to listen to and heed His counsel and things will be OK. Another thing--especially since our children were listening with us--everybody messes up sometimes--be humble, admit your shortfalls (yes, even to the kids) and work together as a family to overcome weaknesses.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, you're a great mother. Your desire to recognize there are things you need to work on and your efforts to always improve are testaments to the fact that you are taking your responsibilities seriously and that you truly love your children.
ReplyDeleteYOU ARE NOT THE CHUBBY ONE! Who told you that you were chubbby so you could be labeled that way forever. When my back is healed, you tell me and I'll take 'em out! :)
ReplyDeleteMight have to be the in next life :)
I agree with Sweetest! You are not the chubby one! You just have your shoulders hunched. How horrific it is to carry those labels with us our entire life--when we should know better. And you are a good mommy! Love ABA
ReplyDeleteThanks for this post, Chelsea. You have always been an inspiration for me... from way back in the missionary days! Like you, I also do not get to hear much of conference even though all four sessions are on in our home. Unlike you though, I have only gone back to read one or two talks. Thanks for giving me something to focus on now as I make the goal to read some more.
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