Joy in Motherhood

I was asked to video a message for my daughter today.  The video was to be a short clip with us telling our daughters what we love about being their mother and what advice that we'd been given by the prophet that helped us the most in mothering.  I included the quote from President Monson that he gave in a talk in 2009.  President Monson said this, "If you are still in the process of raising children, be aware that the tiny fingerprints that show up on almost every newly cleaned surface, the toys scattered about the house, the piles and piles of laundry to be tackled will disappear all too soon and that you will-to your surprise-miss them profoundly…Let us relish life as we live it, find joy in the journey, and share our love with friends and family.”  When I heard this, I was knee deep in raising five young children ages 1-9.  I was tired, exhausted from the endless physical demands as a mother of young children.  The quote made me pause, think of what was most important, and be grateful for the moments I had with my little ones.  Nine years have passed and it's been a while since I've reflected on the joy found in the journey of motherhood.  So today, on Mother's day, let me share some of the joy I've felt recently being a mother of tweens/teenagers.

1.  I love the dinner time and late night talks.  Sometimes the topics aren't very comfortable and other times they are fun and exciting.  We talk and talk and talk.  Lately, we must not be able to get enough of the company of one another, so all the kids gather on our bed for evening talks.  Many times these end playing steam roller or trying to push each other off of the bed so Brad and I can get some sleep.

2.  I love that they all cook now.  I love that I don't very often have to pretend to like the food they make me and then sneak other good food.  They genuinely make good food.  I was made blueberry pancakes today.  Now, there was the cheesecake that Kenzie made me for my birthday that I pretended to like...but for the most part, they do a pretty good and tasty job.  I love that they can and do serve Brad and I.  It shows that they are understanding they are part of a bigger world than just themselves.

3.  I love their developing sense of humor.  I love that they can make a joke and I can laugh and not think...I'm laughing just to make them feel better.  Okay, sometimes Ben needs a little correction here and there and Jake is still kind of saying silly things, but Ben always pushes things a little and Jake is nine.  Jake did tell a good joke the other day.  What is the slipperiest country?  Grease.  Yes, he made that one up all by himself.  I love to laugh with these kids and most of all, I love that they can laugh at themselves.

4.  I love going to their concerts, performances, and sporting events.  They are genuinely fun and interesting to watch.  When they are young you watch because you love them and know they will get good.  They do silly things and they are cute in their performances.  Then, let's be honest here, there's the late elementary years where you are just gritting your teeth because they're not cute anymore and not quite good yet.  Somewhere in middle school that all changes and it becomes fun, for the most part, to watch them again.  By the time high school rolls around, they actually are good, sometimes VERY GOOD and you love them even more for the hard work they have put into whatever it is that they are doing.  I can't tell you how many times I was so excited for them when they won a match, climbed a hill, skied a steep slope, or sung a song so beautifully.  I'm amazed when they learn to row a boat, go down the river in a kayak or swim.  It makes me happy to see them achieve.

5.  I love the development of their intelligence and their ability to add value to a conversation.  I love that they will listen to me and that I can listen to them and we can reach an understanding.  I love that they are becoming confidants, close friends with their father and I...and with each other for that matter.  There are still times where I have to step back into the role of mother, give them advice or discipline them, but as I grow older, I step more and more into the role of their equal and friend.  I love that friendship.

6.  I love that they are big enough to go on a long hike, bike ride, run or motorcycle ride.  While I have never had the privilege of dirtbiking with these kids (that's Brad's territory), I have done a road bike with Jordan, ran with McKenzie, hiked with Ben.  I have played basketball with Jake and yes, even wrestled with Ben and Riley...they beat me.  These times when we play together are truly joyful.

Please know that there are hard times too.  There are times when I worry, cry, feel hurt, have to work harder than I want to with these kids of mine.  (Ha,ha...you already know that from this post.)  The growing pains are real.  If  I had one piece of advice to give to my kids for when they become a parent, it is this:  remember above all, that love is the most important piece of parenting and be sure to step back and, as President Monson said, enjoy the journey because it all too soon slips away.  Amidst these tears, these worries, these heartaches that parents feel, there are moments of sunshine, laughter, and happiness.  There is nothing that compares to the pure joy felt in these moments.

When I was younger I used to think I would do something great.  I would be some important, influential person in society.  I would make a difference.  I realize now, that the difference I am making is found in my children.  They are my something great.