Fear and anxiety

I'm writing this for my children...for when they are older and have mouths to feed and people who rely on them for care.

So this week was the week that people really started to panic about the coronavirus, COVID-19, or at least it was the first week that I really felt their panic.  The World Health organization declared it a pandemic disease and President Trump announced it was a national emergency here.  The NBA closed down, Broadway closed down, the NCAA championships were cancelled (all sports), schools shut down, our church shut down, traveling to and from certain countries is being restricted and any large gatherings were cancelled because coronavirus is very contagious and we are trying to contain the disease.  Store shelves are empty of flour, rice, oil, sugar, bread, toilet paper, bleach and other products.  It is disconcerting to say the least.

This weekend Ben, Riley and I traveled to Denver for a national wrestling tournament the boys have participated in every year.  I contacted the organizers of the tournament the day prior to be sure the tournament was still taking place amongst all the chaos.  They assured me that yes, they were going to be proceed with the tournament and so Ben, Riley and I packed in the suburban and drove the 7 hours.  Upon arrival we went to the grocery store to get a few snacks for the tournament.  It was amazing to see how many shelves were empty and to see the panic on faces.  Ben said, "You can feel how much they are panicking, Mom.  That scares me."  To be honest, it worried me.  It worried me so much I called Brad back home and asked him to head to the store to purchase items that perhaps I had let get low.  Then I proceeded to head to a Sam's club there in Denver to purchase a few items.  After we went back to the hotel and Ben and Riley sought for something to watch that evening to take their minds off of the worry of the the panic they felt.  As they browsed to find something, they coudn't help but notice that every channel was mostly discussing the coronavirus and the possible outcomes that would emerge from this pandemic.  I went running to deal with my stress that evening.  Then I tried to settle down for a good rest.  However, I still felt so stressed that I had trouble sleeping and I finally got up at 5:00 am to again run out my stress on the hotel's treadmill.  After I ran, the boys and I got ready and headed to the tournament only to find out they had cancelled the tournament that morning.  So the boys and I got back in the suburban and drove the  seven hours back home.

My stress isn't really a stress of getting the disease and dying.  I do have that at the back of my mind as a possibility but for the most part healthy adults my age aren't dying from this...yet.  I wasn't really worried about the events being cancelled (the wrestling tournaments for the next few weekends are probably cancelled including Riley's middle school state tournament which he most likely would have placed at) this makes me sad but I know there will be tournaments next year.  My worries came from thinking about the panic I saw on people's faces.  My worries came from thinking about whether or not patients would be willing to come to our Dental office or if they would elect to stay home because after all...dentistry really is an elective surgery for the most part.  My worry came from thinking about how long we can run a dental practice without patients (2-3 months), who will we have to send home first if we can't pay them, and will we be able to recover if we truly do have to shut down for 2-3 months.   I worried about caring for those that rely on us, family, patients and staff.  I know we can feed our family.  I know we can take care of their health needs, I know we have enough money in reserve to last 6 months-1 year but will our business survive?  If it doesn't, how will our family be affected.  Will our employees survive?  Those were/are my worries.  Maybe a little bit of worry about TP but really we will all learn to survive without TP if we don't have it.  In fact, I bought portable Bidets like I did for Jordan just in case.

Some religious people would say this is a test from Heavenly Father to see if we are ready for the second coming.  I don't believe this.  I believe it is just another difficult time, and yes we should heed the counsel of those that are wiser and have experienced things like this before.  The bottom line is, while some will be affected very adversely by this, most things pass.  Hard times pass.  That being said, if we let fear and anxiety control our actions and thoughts, we are much more likely to live in the dark times longer.  We must have faith in an all knowing Heavenly Father and we must have faith in people.  Fear does no good.  It paralyzes you, as does anxiety. In a 2008 BYU devotional given by Professor Gregory Clark, he asked what is the source of fear?  He said that he thinks it is "rooted in the assumption...that I must solve all my problems and face all my challenges alone, using my own resources.  That is frightening, because deep in my heart I know how limited those resources are...knowing that I am not capable of changing myself or my circumstances for the better, I stand frozen in fear."

So while we are all standing here in isolation trying to prevent ourselves from getting and spreading this highly contagious virus, we are also all standing alone and feeling feer.  Notice how the country (as indicative by our stock index) even felt better when President Trump said he had a team working out strategies to help us get through this.  Whether or not you like President Trump, you have to admit that this sharing of information made everyone breathe a tiny sigh of relief because all the sudden we felt like we weren't left alone, that perhaps this team can help us.  Or maybe it gave us hope in ourselves that we can do something.

I know I felt better today when one of my friends posted this to their facebook page:

How's everybody doing?
First, I want you to take a deep breath. Maybe take a couple more.

Did you remember to eat today?

Did you schedule some no social media or news time?

Did you check in on a friend or family member?

If you can’t do an outdoor activity maybe go outside and take your deep breaths there.

Binge watch your favorite tv show or movie trilogy.

Re-read your favorite book or start a new one.

If you have to go to the store be sure to smile at people and thank the employees for being there.

Believe the scientists.

Don’t panic.

Be kind to one another.

Her advice was so good.  In times of panic and trial remember to reach out and share this.  Ask how your neighbor is doing, your husband, your child.  Take a deep breath.  Eat.  Schedule some time away from the chaos.  Find that special place where you can escape.  Connect with someone.  Go outside.  Be sure to be kind.  Don't panic, be educated about the situation and be kind.  Really connections with others is what makes us strong.  That is constantly what the Savior is saying.  We are stronger united, even with our differences than we are apart.  In times of isolation, like this one, we can find strength in one another.  Don't forget that.

So, my children, when you have mouths to feed and people you are responsible for and something terrible happens, stop, breathe, find a place to collect yourself, be calm, be kind and be educated.  Take one step forward.  Remember all things pass and this will too.  If our whole world needs to be reshaped, let it be.  Growth is always hard and always comes when we are willing to learn from hard things.

Choose hope and action over fear and anxiety.