Light the World

 So I'm a little late to the game, but if there is one thing we really all need right now it's light and hope.  Like I've said in the past I believe that one person's small actions can bring about change, but it starts with one.  One of my favorite teachings growing up was, "By small and simple things are great things brought to pass."  

I love Christmas and the New Year.  Let me explain why.  There is something miraculous in the human ability to change.  There is no other holiday that I can think of that celebrates this more than the Christmas season, and I truly do mean season.  It starts off by celebrating the birth of the Savior, Jesus Christ.  His birth, teaching and ultimately his death and resurrection offer us this hope.  It teaches us we CAN change.  Whether or not you are Christian, one must recognize the power this carries.  A week after celebrating his birth we then celebrate the new year which causes us to reflect on the past and encourages us to look to the future for change.  A new year is a gift of a clean slate to all.  It's a brand new beginning for each of us despite our age.  So, while yes, December is dark and cold, there is much light in the celebration of this season.

Let me share one story of change in my life that still helps me today.  Warning, it has to do with weight loss.  I'm laughing while typing that because it's so stereotypical of the type of change we look at in the new year.  I've had that goal every new year that I can think of since I was 10, obviously it has morphed into eating healthy, but still.  Please continue reading even though it is about weight loss.  My intent is to help you see the miracle of change with just one step.

When Brad and I left our professions to attend dental school we had three tiny children Jordan, Kenzie and Ben.  Ben was just six months old when we uprooted our family.  I was exhausted, overwhelmed and tired getting used to the Brad's rigorous schedule of dental school, having three young children and trying to adjust to the intense heat of Vegas.  Three months into this adventure I had a surprise pregnancy.  I tell Riley it was the best surprise ever, but it was a surprise nonetheless.  Because of the lack of time between pregnancies I was extremely heavy after giving birth to Riley.  Like, 191 lbs. heavy.  I felt like a big swollen beach ball and looked like one too, even when trying to take pictures at good angles.  Let me share a few pictures from those years.

I had quite the weight journey ahead and it was discouraging.  I didn't know if I could do it.  After six months of trying I was only down to 181.  I had lost a mere 10 lbs.  That spring I was listening to a talk where the woman speaking was discussing a marathon she had entered.  Brad said to me, "you should run a marathon".  I almost cried when he said it looking at my body thinking, "Me? Run a marathon now?  That's funny."  However, at the time, I recently finished reading a book call Running with Angels that talked about the healing process of running for someone and instead of holding onto my initial rejection of the idea, I thought to myself maybe I can, but one step at a time.  I looked at myself realistically, knew I needed to change my habits, make sacrifices to put my health first and started thinking about the first steps for needed change.  I incorporated a 1500 calorie diet and I began to run.

I had always run before but while running I had always limited myself.  I once laughed at a neighbor who said I should run a 10k.  I told him, "Sorry.  I don't run more than 3 miles so I won't be running 6."  I truly believed running 3 miles was SO HARD, I couldn't imagine doing 6.  To accomplish my goal of running a marathon my whole belief system about myself had to change.  I had to let go of the I can't because it's too painful and I had to start believing I could if I just persisted no matter how slow.  I had to go from the rabbit mentality to the turtle mentality.  I had to take one more step each time I ran.  I followed a strict training schedule and slowly, day by day I built up my stamina and strength and in the process of eating well and believing in myself my body began to change and become strong.  You know what I found out?  Running 3 miles was still hard, but I could do hard. I was amazed at the abilities that I discovered my body had.  I was amazed at how forgiving it was to me after I had neglected it for so long.  I'm not going to lie, I had to make sacrifices, and my family (Brad mostly) had to make sacrifices.  I cannot count the numerous times I rose at 5 am to get in a run.  I am grateful to the friend who joined me on those runs.  We had good conversations.  I will never forget her always being there.

Eight months later I ran my marathon.  Brad and the kids loaded up in the suburban and we headed to Valley of Fire.  It is one of the hardest marathons you can run because you have an increase of 1500 feet in elevation throughout the race.  As one runner put it during the endeavor, there is no fast time at this marathon.  However, its location was close to home and at it was at the right time of year for my training so that is the one I chose.  It was hard, and yes my time was slow (about 90 seconds slower than usual), but I did it.  I'll never forget, on my last 4 mile leg of the marathon seeing Brad drive by in our old, red suburban cheering me on with the kids in the back.  It still brings tears to my eyes to this day.  Again, I was amazed at what I was capable of.

Here's a family picture of me taken shortly after I ran the race.  I had lost a total of 54 lbs between the pictures above and the picture below.  I wish I had bought the picture of me crossing the finish line that they tried to sell me, but I didn't so this will have to do.  Besides, it is one of my favorite family pictures.

I hope you don't think I'm sharing this to brag.  I'm sharing this to say yes, we can change.  It is my message of hope to you.  Let's celebrate this season and fill the world with this hope.  Then, when 2021 comes, let's change.  You will be amazed at the resiliency of the human spirit