Friday's Walk Down Memory Lane

Indulge me here:  I have so many pictures of the kids when they were younger that I haven't done anything with that I thought I would start a new post on Fridays entitled Friday's walk down memory lane. Here it goes:

Today's walk down Memory Lane features Jordan and Kenzie:  Ages 3 and 1
Location:  Idaho Falls, Idaho

I love her smile here.  She looks so mishchievious, doesn't she?

Do you know he once tried to drown her in the bathtub?  It is true, the shared baths stopped soon after.

Our best bathtime story actually does come from Jordan, around this age.  At the time of the incident Jordan was obsessed with bouncy balls.  He LOVED them and played with them constantly.  So, one day he's in the bath and he discovered something special. 

"Mom!" he yelled excitedly.  "Come here!"  (I don't know where I was, maybe in the other room dressing Kenzie.)

"What Jordan, what is it?"  

"I have BALLS!!!!!"

What do you say to that as a mom?  The direction this conversation was taking had not dawned on me yet and I answered, "Yes, Jordan, you do have balls."

Very sincerely and with the total innocence that only a young child can possess he then asked, "Can you get me some scissors so I can cut my balls out and play with them?"

Brad claims Jordan wanted a knife to cut them out, I say it was scissors.  I do not know that Brad was even there when all this happened, but he insists knife.  It doesn't really matter which Jordan said.  The fact was that Jordan wanted to cut them out because he thought they were BOUNCY BALLS.  We then had a quick and basic anatomy lesson emphasizing the point that they were not bouncy balls and that he would not like it one bit if he made any incisions in that general area.  Thank goodness we averted that distaster. 

Sunday Reflections 9/25/2011

It is only 11:53 PM when I am beginning this, so I can still title my post this way.  It is the first time that I've written my Sunday reflections in complete silence...

I think Ben would say that he is glad this week is ending.  He brought home ANOTHER note from his teacher.  This note stated that he had pushed a boy down on the playground and twisted his wrist.  As I spoke with Ben about this incident, he explained how some boys had been chasing him on the playground.  These boys at times punched him and pushed him down.  He was unsure whether this was a game they were all playing together or bullying, so he played back...a little too hard.  Boys can be rough.  I believe Ben when he says he wasn't sure if they were fighting or playing.  I've watched the boys play so many times and I am unsure whether they are fighting or playing.  I guess that's the good thing about girls, you ALWAYS know when they are fighting.  I guess the good thing about boys is that fights are quickly forgotten.  The next day the same boys were playing the same game with Ben, even though I told him not to.  The teacher did have a talk with them and they all claimed that they were just playing.  Ben said to me, "I knew we were just playing today, Mom, because every time I got pushed down, they gave me a hug."

Do you remember your first crush?  I do.  My first crush was on a boy named Ryan Burbidge.  It started about in the fifth grade.  I really thought he was cute.  I thought he was so cute that one day I decided to impress him by hitting him as hard as I could.  He didn't like that very much and, if you can believe it, never returned my affection.  This is all true.  Jordan has a girl at school he likes.  I don't know her name.  He has probably shared it with me, but at the moment I cannot recall it.  It's not the first girl he has had a crush on.  He liked a girl last year in Idaho named Erin.  Anyway, the girl he likes now at school likes him too and all his friends want them to "go together".  They want him to ask her out.  He said to me, "Mom, I told them I couldn't.  I told my friends it was against my religion until I was 16.  They all teased me and thought I was stupid, but I told them I could still like her.  That's okay, right?"  Isn't that great?  Jordan stood up for what he thought was right!  I know, it's not against our religion to "go" with a girl, but he understands the guidelines we have given him and he knows he should not pair off.  Way to go Jordan!  That's one to celebrate. 

I went to the General Relief Society broadcast last night.  I thought I would share some things that stuck out to me the most.

I liked Sister Allred's talk on charity.  In her talk she quoted the following from President Monson, "Charity is having patience with someone who has let us down.  It is resisiting the impulse to become offended easily.  It is accepting weakness and shortcomings.  It is accepting people as they truly are.  It is looking beyond physical appearances to attributes that will not dim through time.  It is resisting the impulse to categorize others."  As I listened to that quote I wondered if I had patience with someone that has let me down (Ben?), if I resisted the urge to become offended, or if I accepted someone's weaknesses and shortcomings.  Don't you think if we could all truly have charity our relationships with others would be greatly enhanced?  When I think of the Savior and his love for me, I can understand and feel charity.  I want my children, husband and those around me to feel that same charity from me.  Some people have this gift, don't they?  We've all met those people who just seem to radiate charity and because of this seem to bring out the best in others.  I can't say that this was one of my gifts I was given, but it is surely a gift I desire to develop.

I loved Elder Uchtdorf's talk.  He is so personable.  I feel like at times when he speaks, I am in a room one on one with him and he is just talking to me.  I felt like that last night.  His forget-me-not metaphor of the little flower's five petals and the five points that he would not want us to forget was just what I needed to hear.

1. Forget not to be patient with yourself.   
2. Forget not the difference between a good sacrifice and a foolish sacrifice. 
3. Forget not to be happy now. 
4. Forget not the why of the gospel.
5. Forget not that the Lord loves you.

Finally, today was our primary program.  Last week the children had been given invitations to give to teachers, friends and neighbors.  When Riley got his, he immediately asked me if he could give the invitation to his teacher, Ms. Korte.  I was not sure how to answer, but the more I thought about it, the more I thought it would be a good idea.  You see, Ms. Korte teaches six of our primary children and she also taught Ben last year.  That made seven of them that she knew.  So, I typed up a little note with the invitation and invited her to come.  I was so impressed with her when she said thank you for the invite and that she would love to be there.  You should have seen the joy of the children when they saw her in the audience.  They waved and smiled the whole program through.  After the program they ran to her and gave her hugs.  I was sitting by one of the little boys from her class (who didn't realize I was Riley's mom) during the program and he turned to me and said, "Look, do you see my teacher Ms. Korte?  She came today.  Isn't she beautiful?"  Their love for her was evident and I was so grateful for her and her love for her students.  Will she take the missionary lessons?  Probably not, but she made such a difference in her students lives just by being there.  Hopefully the children made a difference in her life too by sharing their testimonies of the Savior.   

That hardly sounds like MY child

You have no idea how many times I heard that phrase when I was teaching.

Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben….I’ve always said Ben is my child who has no guile.  Well, that belief ended this week when I received a phone call from his teacher.  The conversation that took place went something like this:

Mrs. Goetz:  Is this Ben’s mother, Mrs. Belt?

Me:  Yes.
Mrs. Goetz:  Oh, good.  I needed to get in touch with you about your son Ben.  Something very bad has happened.
Me:  Oh, no.
Mrs. Goetz:  First of all I would like to reassure you that Ben is healthy and fine.  He is not injured or sick at all.
Me:  Oh. (I know, I'm quite the conversationalist.)
Mrs. Goetz:  On Friday Ben was sent to Australia for not paying attention in reading.

Let’s stop here for a moment to do some explaining, shall we?  In Ben’s class, Mrs. Goetz sends her children to Australia (a little map of Australia in the corner of the room) for a time out.  They get a warning the first time and the second time it happens, they get a time out.  At this point of the punishment the person in time out has to write a note to their parents stating that they got a time out, discussing why the time out was given and they have to bring this note home for their parent to sign.  Back to Mrs. Goetz…

Mrs. Goetz:  On Friday Ben was sent to Australia for not paying attention in reading and the note he brought back to me had his father’s signature on it.

Me:  That’s funny Brad never told me he got the note.
Mrs. Goetz:  Well, I have a pretty good hunch that it is not his father’s signature.  Ben forged his father’s signature. 

Let's pause again for a moment.  He FORGED his father's signature.  Ben is in 2^nd grade, this is a really bad sign for me!!!!

Me:  Oh my.  Ben will definitely get a talking to about that.  Thank you for calling me.
Mrs. Goetz:  I’m sure he will.  I’m glad I got a hold of you.  But this is not all I need to notify you of.
Me:  Oh.
Mrs. Goetz:  Today when Ben went to use the bathroom he was found climbing the stalls and hanging upside down from them.
Me:  Oh. *sigh*  That DEFINITELY sounds like my child, Ben.  I will talk with him about that also.
Mrs. Goetz:  Thank you.

When Ben got home we had a little talking about forging signatures and how serious of a crime that is.   We spoke of how someone recently forged Dad's signature to get some drugs and how that man is now on trial for a felony and will spend some time in jail.  We spoke of how he probably didn't know how bad it was to forge someone's signature, but he did know how bad it was to deceive and lie and that is what he did.  We spoke about trust and how his actions made him lose my trust and Mrs. Goetz's trust.  He had to write a letter of apology to his father and to Mrs. Goetz.  And last, but not least, he has been banished to his room for 4 days without any food or water.  Okay, water but no food ;).  Out the window goes my boy without guile. *sigh* 

Riley, age 6

(Oreo cookie leftovers on face and all)

I am really good at:  playing games with my brothers and sister and Lego Star wars.

I like to:  catch bugs.
My favorite thing to learn at school:  centers (fun things you do like painting/playing with potato heads/playing with blocks).
One person that makes me laugh:  Jacob.
One word that describes me:  friendly.
I am really happy when:  I get to go to the pool.
I am really sad when:  my brothers and sister hurt me.
My favorite book:  SkippyJon Jones and the Dinosaur Bones.
My favorite movie:  Despicable Me.
My favorite place to visit:  my Grandma and Grandpa’s house (both sets).
My favorite school subject:  technology.
My favorite time of year:  the summer.
My favorite toy/game:  Batman
My greatest fear:  rattle snakes
What makes me mad:  when my brother ditches me.
My favorite sport:  football.
I like my dad because:  he lets us ride motorcycles.
I like my mom because:  she’s nice.
I like my family because:  they’re my best friends.

Meet my newest foe: the corner of many crashes.

This is the corner of many crashes:

This is the burm on the corner of many crashes:

This is the hill that leads to the burm on the corner of many crashes:

These are the motorcycles that are ridden down the hill that leads to the burm on the corner of many crashes.

This is the newest victim who rode the motorcycle down the hill that leads to the burm on the corner of many crashes.

This is the wire fence that caught the newest victim who rode the motorcyle down the hill that leads to the burm on the corner of many crashes.

This is the injury that came from the wire fence that caught the newest victim who rode the motorcycle down the hill that leads to the burm on the corner of many crashes.

^#@& the fence!
^#@& the corner!
(If I swore those would be different words:o)

We're so glad she wasn't hurt worse.

Sunday reflections 9/18/2011

We had our first real "girl crisis" this week.  It all started at Kohl's when I saw this cute outfit on the rack. 

(Yes, and that cute girl holding that cute outfit had something to do with it.) 

I saw the outfit on the clearance rack and I think to myself, "Kenzie would love that, I wonder how much it costs."  The price tag was marked $14 and with my extra 20% off it came to $11.20, a pretty good price.  I looked more closely and was a little concerned at the white cotton shirt that was attached to the black vest.  You see, Kenzie does not like fitted clothes and I knew that if it felt too tight in any way, I was in trouble.  However, the cuteness and affordable price of the outfit won out over my common sense and I brought it home.  She, of course, at first sight fell in love with it and went to try it on right away only to come out exasperated at how tight it felt.  Then she went on a rampage about why do they have to make all the girl clothes so tight and proceeded to yell at me because of her frustration with the fitted style of girls clothing.  I, of course, being the wise, empathetic mother that I am (that was said in sarcasm by the way) took that opportunity to tell her, "Welcome to the world of women, Kenzie.  Everything they make for us is fitted and we have to try on, try on, try on to be sure that things fit us.  I do not know how many cute things that I have tried on myself just to find out they didn't fit me in one way or another."  Now I have to stop the story here and tell you that the shirt DID fit her, she just didn't like the feel of it, or the fact that she had to wear a tank top underneath the shirt because it was see through.  Anyway, my answer didn't appease her and she went from raging at the world for making women/girl clothing so fitting to notifying me of all the faults I have as a parent.  Luckily, this day, I did not lose it.  I have lost it in the past when they(my children) have accused me of bad parenting, but I could just see that this ranting came from the way she felt about herself, the way the outfit made her feel (which usually when children accuse you of bad parenting it is a sign that they are feeling insecure in some way).  So, I patiently told her that I could tell she was upset, that she really didn't mean the things she was saying, and that I would talk with her more when she had calmed down (This technique seems to produce better results than yelling and screaming at them about what a wonderful mother I truly am).  After an hour or so, she did, in fact, calm down and come to me sorry and contrite.  At this point we were able to discuss the way the world wants us women to believe that we all have to have the same body type, shape, look and how that standard that they impose on us in the media affects our own self image as women.  I also took a moment to tell her that the more we tell ourselves we don't like the way our bodies are, the more harmful that is to us.  I learned that the hard way.  Trust me, I had too many wasted years of hating the way my body was.  It did me more harm than good.  So ladies out there, if you have any advice to give to my dear, sweet, beautiful daughter about body and body image, do so today in the comment section.  Let her know that she is not the only one out there that feels imperfect, that our bodies come in all different shapes and sizes, and please, let her know what a gift our bodies are.  As for the cute outfit, she wore it to church today and looked absolutely beautiful, even though the shirt may have felt too tight.

We also had our first real "best buddy" crisis between these two:

Ben had a friend over for the first time since...Vegas I believe.  Really, the last time I think he had a friend over was in Vegas.  It was his friend Dallin.  That is a sad statement of how impermanent our situation has been over the last three years:(  Anyway, this friend and he wanted to ditch Riley.  Dad overheard Riley saying to Ben, "Fine.  I won't be your best buddy if you ditch me anymore Ben." and had a serious talking with Ben before he went off to ride his mountain bike on some trails with Jordan.  Well, not 30 minutes after Brad had left, Ben's friend came to me crying.  Riley had apparently "choked" him.  Yes, that was the word he used and Riley did not deny the action.  They had ditched Riley again and he became so upset that he attacked Ben's friend and "choked" him.  Riley got a time out and a talking to about how it's not okay to choke people.  Ben also got a severe talking to and in front of Ben's friend I heard myself speaking the same words my mother spoke to me as a child, "Ben, friends come and go, but your brother will always be there.  He is your best friend and you never ditch your best friend."  Apparently, they got the message this time and by the end of the play date all three were playing happily together.

Jake is obssessed with cowboys and Woody lately.  He has found out a way to attach Woody's hat to his head with his sister's elastic headband. 



He also wears those same elastics around his waist as his holster for his guns.  The shirt he is wearing in the picture is his "cowboy shirt" and he has taken over Ben's boots to complete the look.  He's so much fun...most of the time.  He has taken to throwing tantrums lately.

And, since everyone else has a picture of them in here:

That's Jordan saying to me, "Why are you being so wierd and taking a picture of me randomly Mom.  That's not cool."  Okay, maybe he didn't say it, but he's thinking it.  He's definitely gotten to the cool stage.  Soon he'll be too cool.

I finished two books this week and I highly recommend both. 

The first was Unbroken by Laura Hillenbrand.  A truly amazing story that will deepen your understanding of WWII and help you see your own trials and struggles in a new light and perspective.  It was so good I will have Brad read it.  I will have Jordan read it.  When the others are old enough, they will read it.  My favorite quote from the book is the following:

(telling of the 3 men in the raft on the Pacific Ocean):"Though all three men faced the same hardship, their differing perceptions of it appeared to be shaping their fates. Louie and Phil's hope displaced their fear and inspired them to work toward their survival, and each success renewed their physical and emotional vigor. Mac's resignation seemed to paralyze him, and the less he participated in their efforts to survive, the more he slipped. Though he did the least, as the days passed, it was he who faded the most. Louie and Phil's optimism, and Mac's hopelessness, were becoming self-fulfilling." p.148

The second was Making Toast by Roger Rosenblatt.  It's tells the true story of a family who lose their daughter/wife/ mother, Amy, to death and how this death impacted their lives.  The story is written from the perspective of Amy's father.  It's not a book for everyone, but I found it very touching.  My favorite passage (and I'm sorry I have to include it all because it is long, but I don't know which part to cut out): 

Speaking of Amy's husband, Harris, and mother Ginny, the author writes, "Ginny and Harris may feel that their lives have prepared them for our current circumstance.  I do not.  I doubt that my life has prepared me for any situation, because until Amy died, I had always believed that good things would simply befall me.  Except for a few disappointments, probably less than my share, I've led a charmed life.  I am learning what most people know at a much younger age-that life is to be endured, and its rewards earned.  Since my rewards these days lie in the survival of my family, I am content to try to earn them. 

But all this comes slowly to me.  I have not been a long-distance runner, and now-at the time when my legs are weak and my wind diminished-I need to confront the long haul, which runs counter to my nature.  I must train myself to deal with the world as it is, as Amy did, while not treating the assignment as a chore.  One of the few pieces of writing I have done since Amy died was a book review for the Washington Post Book World.  The novel was David Lodge's Deaf Sentence-about a retired linguistics professor, Desmond Bates, who is losing his hearing and who is also deaf to life until, against his will, he visits Auschwitz, where the silence teaches him to hear.  He reads a letter from a prisoner in the camp to his wife, discovered in a pile of human ashes.  One sentence rises up to Desmond:  "If there have been, at various times, trifling misunderstandings in our life, now I see how one was unable to value the passing time."  As far as I can tell, this is how to live-to value the passing time."

With all that said, I must go value the passing time with my own family. 

Sunday reflections 9/11/2011

September 11, 2001, isn't this a day we all remember well?  Brad was working as a firefighter at the time and was just finishing up a 24 hour shift when he heard the news.  He spent the day watching and listening to the news with our neighbors, the Walkers.  Me, I was in my classroom.  I left my home around 7:00 that morning and had not listened to the news on my way to school.  When my first students came in for Spanish class, they told me a plane had hit the world trade center.  My students thought I was crazy because I didn't pause for a moment to talk about it.  They problaby still joke with their friends, "Ya, I was in Spanish class and Mrs. Belt didn't even believe that what we were saying was true.  She just kept teaching."  They didn't know, though, that I didn't understand.  How could a plane crash into the world trade center and what consequence would it have?  How could one understand without seeing the horrific images on the news.  It was later that day, when I saw those images (and the many images to follow), that the full impact of what had happened finally impressed itself upon me.  10 years later we, as a nation, are still deeply affected by what happened on that day.  Granted, we all knew that the news coverage would be 100% about the anniversary of 9/11, but even reading the comics today, I was touched that so many of them had 9/11 as a theme.  One in particular, Zits, caught my attention.
 

Isn't this what 9/11 was all about?  That in any moment, those we love and treasure can be torn away from us?  Isn't this what 9/11 taught America?  Didn't the lives of the rescuers teach us, that even strangers can care about those we love?   On 9/11 I saw an America broken, but on 9/11 I also saw an America united, an America that cared.

  “Now, we have inscribed a new memory alongside those others. It’s a memory of tragedy and shock, of loss and mourning. But not only of loss and mourning. It’s also a memory of bravery and self-sacrifice, and the love that lays down its life for a friend–even a friend whose name it never knew. “
- President George W. Bush, December 11, 2001

Meet our new puppy, Red

He just can't get enough of our cat, Tiger. 

For him, she's the perfect playmate.

She's even helping him fine tune those hunting instincts he was born with.

(Don't let her fool you, she's just playing dead.)

Most of all she's a great partner for him to cuddle up with in the warm sun and take a nap.  

Sunday reflections 9/4/2011

I love fall and today with the sun, light breeze and 67 degree temperature, it feels like fall.  It is the perfect day.  All we are missing are the fall colors.  I'm sure we'll have some beautiful colors around here with the scrub oak and aspen that decorate our yard.  I cannot wait to see the colors that come out.  And the best part about it all is I can enjoy the colors without having to worry about raking the leaves.  That's the kind of yard we have now, a no maintanence yard.  With the home being vacant for 3 years, the lawn has died and the natural habitat has taken over.  If we buy this home, we have quite the yard to tame.
Our cat, Tom, has dissappeared.  The locals warned us that this would happen, that eventually the coyotes would get him, but when Tom survived the great outdoors for three months I thought for sure he'd make it.  Maybe he did.  Maybe he went to one of the homes close by and stays with them.  I did think he had dissappeared earlier, only to have him reappear, so maybe he just found a family he likes better.  We do have some homes close by.  That's how I'm going to imagine it:  Tom with another family caring for him...and he must live inside, because that's the only reason I could imagine him leaving this great family of ours.  It's a happier ending for him than the other.  Anyway, with Tom gone, the mice still here (we do catch a few every now and then and I'd like to whittle the few down to zero) and with the possibility that maybe he has been eaten by coyotes, I started thinking that we need more than just one cat.  We need two and they need to have babies.  So I have been kitty hunting.  Meet cat #2 (Tom was #1), Tom junior:

Only when we got Tom Jr. home we found out that he was actually a girl and we've renamed her Tiger.  The kids are even more smitten with Tiger than they were with Tom.  You see, when we got Tom he was 3+ months old and a lot bigger.  So this is the first kitten that my kids have had and even I'll admit (me, the great animal non-lover) that kittens are cute.  The owner of this one said she was eight weeks old.  Don't forget the owner also said SHE was a HE, so I don't know how much we can trust the owner.  Tiger does seem so little.  I hope she wasn't weaned too early and that she'll survive.  In an attempt to keep her safe from coyotes we have made a comfortable home for her out of one of our tupperware boxes.  During the day it is propped open so she can go in and out when she wants.  At night, we close it over her, so she can't get out and put a 35 lb. weight on top.  That should keep those coyotes out, right?   We're hoping to add a male cat soon.  Then they will reproduce and our little cat family will take care of the mice.  That is the goal.  Am I sounding too calculating?

As for the rest of the week it was kind of a blur.  Things are going great at work for Brad, things are going great at home for me and the kids are loving school.