We sent Jordan off this last week. As soon as got home from the Middle Fork of the Salmon, Jordan, McKenzie and I packed back up and headed back to Utah to take Jordan to the Missionary Training Center. I've had such mixed emotions this whole summer about Jordan leaving on a mission. I'm so happy he chose to go. I'm happy he was called to the Phillipines. When he opened his email that told him where he would be serving, I felt immediately that it was the right placement for him and that he would love the Phillipines. At the same time, I felt worried. I was worried about his first month in the Phillipines when he is adjusting to the culture and adjusting to the missionary schedule. I was worried about any illness he may contract. I was nervous for his time in the MTC which can seem so long and tedious. I was worried if he needed me I'd be halfway around the world. Besides all my worries, I also felt the dread of him leaving knowing that this time my little boy, my son, would never come back. He won't. I didn't. Brad didn't. My brother didn't. Noone does. They leave home for good once they go on a mission. I mean, they come and visit, but they never come home to live again. So, while yes, it is hard to not see them for two years, it's even more complicated than that. The mission makes them independent people that can now live on their own. They don't need you when they come back. This is good. We know this is good, yet we are sad. This is hard.
Back to the day we dropped Jordan off.
Kenzie, Jordan and I were doing okay that morning. There were no tears. All of the sudden Jordan just starts getting mass texts from his dad. They were all jokes at first. He was trying to lighten what he knew was a somber mood. Brad always tries to lighten heavy situations. When we drove away from the house to drop Jordan off he put on this crazy swim outfit made out of a life jacket and had the boys do the same just to make us all laugh instead of cry. So the first texts start off that way. But then they change. Brad starts sending Jordan all these pictures of the adventures they'd had together. I'm watching and thinking to myself, Brad better stop or else he's going to make himself cry. You see he was at work and no one wants to see their dentist cry and he doesn't want anyone ever see him cry. Sure enough he sent us a text that made us all cry.
And then of course, all three of us started crying.
Yep, it was hard to say goodbye and let go.
So, why do we do it? With all the conflicting feelings, with how difficult this is, with the hard things we know they will face, why do we send our children off to serve missions? Why do we do it when we know we won't see them for two years? Why do we do it when we know they will never truly come home? I get that question a lot from people who don't belong to my church.
We do it because we believe in Jesus Christ. We do it because we believe that if you follow him, light comes into your life and makes things easier, not easy. We do it because we want to make the world a better place.
Does that mean we only want baptisms? While it is true that we go to teach the gospel of Jesus Christ and invite others to make covenants with him, that is not our only goal. Our goal is to lift, to serve, to learn to love others and to leave this world a better place than the way we found it.
Today in Brad's lesson at church (he teaches our the second hour) Brad asked the question how many of the parents in the room had sent off their children on missions. Several rose their hands. Then he asked them if it was hard for them to do. They all shook their heads in the affirmative. He asked one to expound. This parent had sent two off at the same time, a daughter and a son. He spoke of how he stayed up at night worrying about them, especially his daughter who was sent to El Salvador because there was political unrest there at the time. He said he worried the whole time they were on missions. He said it was terrible. Then Brad asked if it was so awful would he do the same thing again, knowing now what he went through. The parent answered yes, he would. And then, of course, Brad asked why? And the answer was because serving the people changed his son and daughter. It made them good people. It helped them grow and ultimately it helped others.
I've reflected some on what God, our father, must have felt sending Jesus Christ down to this earth to serve his mission. I feel a little more understanding of how much God must love each of us to do this now that I am sending my own boy off.
So, when you see those young missionaries from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, please be kind. Please extend a handshake, a friendly smile an encouraging word, a drink of water. Know they are doing this to serve you. Let them have that opportunity. Let them learn from you. Do not fear that their only purpose is to baptize you into our church. Please know they are someone's sweet child and those parents care very much about them and are lending them to you for two years.
Tacloban, please take care of my boy!
