The Way Things Are...

Babe is one of the most watched movies here at our house.  In fact, it is so loved by us that when we got our new puppy we contemplated naming him Babe, Fly or Rex.  That's beside the point, but fun to mention.  Anyhow it's a cute movie about achieving what seems impossible to some.  In one part of the movie Ferdinand, a duck who wants to be a rooster to avoid being eaten, is in a conversation with Babe and a local farm cow discussing how sad he is that Rosanna, his friend, has been slaughtered.  The cow says to Ferdinand, "The only way you'll find happiness is to accept that the way things are is they way things are."  To which Ferdinand replies, "'The way things are' stinks! I'm not gonna be a goner, I'm gone! I wish all of you the best of luck."


That's how Kenzie felt this week when faced with going back to school.  Really, she had a moment where she wanted to fly the coop and I felt, when I said you have to go back to school, just like the cow saying...The way things are is the way things are.  Now put on your big girl pants and march back into that high school.  It was such a terrible fight to get her back in the building that I went back to work discouraged and worried.  I sat thinking and pondering on the possible alternatives we had to regular schooling.


It's not very often that I fight with McKenzie because when we fight the fights escalate into this kind of frenzied feeling for me and her.  Brad is much better at dealing with her in these moods because he can make her laugh, relax and then somehow bring her back in to face the moment.  He does the same to me.  Frantic for help I began to discuss with Brad the different options we had for schooling McKenzie.  It's so nice to have a partner to ground us, isn't it?  "Chelsey", he said to me, "if McKenzie can't learn to face the school and the challenges of a rigorous schedule where none of her friends are in her classes, how is she going to be able to cope with challenges that will naturally occur in her life?  What if she bought a dental practice and her patients didn't like her at first because she wasn't the old doctor?  Could she just stay at home and not face the situation head on?  No, she would have to work it out and she can with this too."  And I realized that his logic was dead on and that McKenzie would be okay.


And McKenzie was okay.  That very night Brad spoke with her in his humor, made her laugh at herself and somehow helped her find the right tools to deal with her anxieties. 


My point in blogging about this is I think as parents, today, we have a tendency to want to fix all our kids' problems for them.  We want to take on the bully that was mean to them at school, yell at the teacher who, for some reason, doesn't like their boisterous personality or do their homework assignment for them when they are just too tired.


While, I do believe that there are certainly times one must stick up for their children (and certainly protect them), I think we are all too quick to think our child can't deal with it themselves.  Children are much stronger than you think.  One of the best things I ever did as a parent for my Jordan was stay close to him, make sure he knew he was loved, give him a hug every night when he cried when we first moved here and then send him to school the next day even though he was being bullied so badly at school because he was new.  You will never meet a more empathetic person to new kids than Jordan.  He understands how difficult it is to leave old friends behind and make your way new in a school.  Know that many times, I wanted to go in and talk to the administration and my husband said, no that Jordan needed to deal with this.


Be careful of wanting to create a perfect life for our children, thus taking away any challenges they face.  When we take away the difficulty, there is no learning opportunity and no room for growth of character.


So yes, we made Kenzie go to school and not fly the coop...because "The way things are is the way things are."  And while Babe certainly still was a pig, through his kindness, intuitiveness and determination discovered his role on the farm...a role that surprised all.


So Kenz...here's my song for you.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pExCByqi0NU


Like Farmer Hogget believed in Babe, I believe in you.

Growth spurts

Um, Ben...perhaps we should get some new church pants.

Final Countdown

1 more day and the kids go back.   My kids (well, really just McKenzie and Jordan) were singing "It's the final Meltdown" to the tune of "It's the Final Countdown" over and over as they spoke about how much they dreaded the summer fun ending.  I'll admit that it's hard going back inside once you've spent the summer enjoying the outdoors and the weather is still enjoyable.  Kenzie especially dreads the classrooms with no windows.

So, we did our best to celebrate the final week of summer in style with the kids.  We let them have their friends over as much as possible, we visited the local river twice and we went waterskiing as always.

On Tuesday Brad, Jordan and Ben kayaked a local section of water with some very technical rapids.    I asked Brad to snap some pictures.  Of course, he couldn't snap pictures as they are on the river, but he did snap pictures of their hike in.  It is a several mile hike to the river across railroad tracks to get in and if anyone has ever carried a kayak on their back for even a few feet, you know this is no small task.  Especially across terrain like this.   Brad is going to edit this later so I'm not going to say anything more.

Our trip to the lake was fun.  Ben got up barefoot skiing again from the rope off the boom.

He's up here and Brad is telling him to sit back down on his butt to practice his three point stance and even though he isn't saying it to his Dad he's thinking in his head, Really?  I just got done drowning and you want me to sit back down?

But he follows his Dad's instructions and does it anyway...

Don't worry though, the kids have payback later trying to drown Brad as they swim.

And finally, best news of the week...our property is finally beggining to be worked on!  We were so excited to see the trees being felled this week.

Summer's closing.

The sunflowers are up.  This is always my sign that the summer is coming to a close.  It's always a bittersweet time for me when I see these flowers because they are my favorite, but it means my life(and my children's lives for that matter) is going to becoming scheduled again, with places to be and things to do.  And this year is especially bittersweet for me as we are entering Jordan's senior year in high school.  How did that happen?  One week until school begins.  So welcome lovely flower, farewell beautiful summer. 

With school starting soon, so has practice for the fall musical for Kenzie.  This year's musical is Grease

and I think it is fair to say that our whole family has Freddy my Love memorized.  Kenzie has been practicing over and over and over the last few weeks.  I think she'll make an awesome Marty Maraschino!  Really, she sounds pretty dang good on the song.  The great thing is though that there really is not stess this year because for sure she'll make ensemble and if she doesn't get Marty, well, she is only a sophomore.

This summer has been an especially wet one for our area.  While we always have Monsoon season and get some scattered thunderstorms, this year it has been slightly different because the rains seem to be never ending.  While no one in our area will ever complain that we have too much moisture and we appreciate the lovely green that is still everywhere, I think we are all ready for monsoon season to end.  Realistically, we probably have at least another month...but perhaps it will be more like our normal monsoons for the next month or so.

Because of the rain, the boys have been able to play in the river in their kayaks for much longer than expected.  This past weekend Brad, Jordan and Ben hit Rockwood Box canyon  in their kayaks for the first time.  

We had a brief respite from the monsoon rains this past Saturday and McKenzie and I, along with one of our Fenberg favorites (Mary) went on a local hike.  The views were beautiful.

And the time spent with these beautiful, fun girls....

was time well spent.  Especially love my Kenzie girl.

Blue seems to be adapting well to our family.  He is growing bigger every day and has such a calm demeanor.  So different than Harley, the lab that we had a few years back.

I am reading a book called the Happiness project that I couldn't get into at first.  But once I hit chapters 2-4...I found some really valuable material.

My favorite quotes from it so far are the following two:

"Happy people generally are more forgiving, helpful, and charitable, have better self-control, and are more tolerant of frustration than unhappy people, while unhappy people are more often withdrawn, defensive, antagonistic, and self-absorbed.  Oscar Wilde observed, "One is not always happy when one is good; but one is good when one is happy."

"I've never forgotten something I read in college, by Pierre Reverdy: "There is no love; there are only proofs of love."  whatever love I might feel in my heart, others will see only my actions."

Finally...our grillzebo is "practically perfect in every way" (Imagine Mary Poppins singing that).  Really, it is.  We are loving the time it affords us to eat outside now.  With the fire pit, the side counter, the barbeque and the roof it provides the conduit for many conversations to be had as we spend time together as a family.

We are still adding a few finishing touches, but it is the perfect addition to our house.

8-5-2017

We had a rough week at work.  I mean, I think both Brad and I had one of those days (or a few of those days) when we don't want to go back to work.  For me, I feel overwhelmed by the responsibility Brad and I have to our business.  I feel overwhelmed by the people that maybe didn't like the service we offered, even though we always give our best...sometimes your best isn't good enough.  I feel overwhelmed by having to hire, fire and second guess people.  This feeling of being overwhelmed leads to a feeling of fear, like maybe we're going to sink, like we're not going to make it.  The fear immobilizes me.

I used to have this reoccurring nightmare at my Grandma's house where I would be sleeping in her downstairs bedroom (where we always slept) and someone would sneak through the window and kidnap me.  I would try to run or scream but I would be unable to because I was so afraid.  The fear left me unable to act.

Anyhow, like I said, it was a difficult week and I have felt fearful and doubtful.  I was feeling especially down Wednesday night when I came upon this video on facebook.  I love what it teaches, "We can replace darkness with light, hate with love, fear with faith...if we trust in Him (Jesus Christ), stand by Him each and every day it will all work out."  When I hear this, my faith is strengthened and my fear goes away.  When the fear dispels, I am able to move again...take action and face the future one step at a time.  While fear binds me, my faith liberates.  My faith empowers me.

The funniest thing said in the house this week was said, again, by Ben.  I hate to seem like I'm picking on him, but it was so funny I have to share.  He comes to me this morning and says, "Mom, I need you to feel this on the side of my head.  It is a funny bump and it doesn't feel right."  I motion him forward, a little worried because Ben did have some extreme head issues last year with ringworm, and lifted his hair to look.  Before I go on, you should know Ben is 13.  So I lift his hair to look and what do I see?  Ben's first pimple.

The most fun had this week was probably by McKenzie when she and her best friend jumped off the cliff into the river below during a bike ride we did together with some wonderful ladies.

I guess the water was pretty cold, but Kenzie was more scared of the height.

The most surprising thing that happened this week happened when we found our car and truck doors (all of them on each vehicle) open one morning when we came out.  It was a bear.  He slimed all over the cars and got mud everywhere.  I didn't know bears could open car doors...but there's a first for everything and it could have been much worse.  So now, the vehicle doors get locked every night.  Don't want no bear driving our cars.

The cutest things I saw this week were from Kenzie...her holding her favorite baby, Benji and Blue following her on the river trail.

My favorite pictures that I found/took this week.

This is one of my favorites because it shows just how happy my Jake is...really, he is almost always this happy.  His positive attitude makes him so easy to raise.

This one is one of my favorites because it just shows Kenzie and I having fun together...and yes, I am about to fall off and am hanging on for dear life and my sweet daughter isn't helping me at all.

The most marshmallows and cake mix ever bought in the same trip were bought this week by Brad (got to love it when husband's go shopping).  He was just so excited by the different varieties of marshmallows for smores he couldn't help himself.  He couldn't believe that in addition to regular, there were strawberry and coconut and chocolate.

As for the cake mix, well, one never wants to be without one for a camping trip again (Ben).

Finally, for the most organization it took to complete a job for the week...the award goes to me.  I cleaned and organized the garage fridge, the garage freezer, the inside fridge and three cupboards today to make room for the food we bought from Sam's.  It took me four hours total time.  I was so proud of the way the outdoor fridge and freezer looked, I took  pictures so I could remember that once...they were clean.