Last week I got an iphone 5c. It's my first smartphone. In the past I've only had a flip phone. Really. I was still using the keypad to text. Pushing the number 2 three times to get to c. Pushing the number 1 nine times to put an apostrophe in the right place. Heck, I didn't even start texting until this last fall. Really. And as I pushed those buttons in the beginning I wondered how texting ever became popular. It didn't bother me to have a flip phone.
I may have decided I wanted a smart phone when I started texting. I could then see the convenience of a text but hated the tremendous task it was. Besides, I couldn't read any dictated texts. I don't know why. I guess my flip phone was that antiquated. So I upgraded and now we have a smart phone in the house.
I have so much to learn on it. I need a tutuorial from someone who really knows their iphone stuff. Here's what I do know:
- I know how to find siri (I've made siri an australian male and I love how he sounds)
- I know how to make a call
- I know how to send a text by dictating (Oh ya...so much easier)
- I know how to take a selfie.
As I'm learning about this phone, mostly from my kids who don't even have one, I'm amazed at all of its capabilities and I'm Soooooo glad that none of my children own their own.
I'm not the perfect parent. I make lots of
mistakes, but one of the things I feel like I've done
really right is limit the amount of outside influence we have come into our home by limiting much of technology. I know there are those of you out there saying that I'm doing a disservice to my kids by not letting them have their own smart phones, by not letting them have their own tablet or by not letting them even have their own ipod... I mean this is a world that is going to the cyber world, right? They need to have these skills. But let's be honest with ourselves here, they have access to all of that at school and they learn there. Whether it's from a friend's iphone, from grandpa's ipad or from the technology courses that they're all required to take they learn it and they know it...better than me. I'm sure if I sat with my children on my phone and gave them free reign with it for an hour they'd be able to teach me all that I need to know about it. In fact, I know they would. They've wanted me to let them. And everything that I have learned so far, I've learned from them. I've asked them how they know so much and you know what they say to me? "Mom
ALL our friends have one." Even my eight year old.
This wasn't a purposeful venture for Brad and I. We didn't start out saying, "We're going to limit the outside influence in our home by doing such and such." We had no plan. About a year into our marriage Brad, teary eyed after watching Mary go blind on Little House on the Prairie (really, the show made him cry), said to me, "I may be watching too much TV. I waste too much time and I think I would be more productive if it wasn't there. If the TV is on, I can't turn it off." So we turned off the cable. Both he and I found we
were more productive. We got much more done at night and we even spoke to each other more. As the years went by we never decided to turn it back on. Ocassionally, visiting family or in a hotel I would turn on the TV and would be shocked and amazed at what I would see...even on the "kids shows." As we saw what was on we did become firm in our choice and have made a conscious decision to keep it off.
This has not come without some losses. My kids don't get to follow BYU football or basketball or even know who James Lebron is or who he plays for. Heck, I don't even know who he plays for now. When my friends talk about survivor or the Big Bang Theory, or the bacholorette I can't participate. I have nothing to say because I've never seen the shows. My kids don't know what Sesame Street is. They never watched the Electric company (is that even on anymore, probably not) and when my daughter is asked if she watched the latest show of "Keeping up with the Kardashians" she has to say no. For the longest time I didn't know why they were so famous. I didn't know they had a reality show. So it's made us a bit...odd, different.
With the cell phone it was the same. Brad and I didn't start off thinking our children will never have their own cell phone. We just didn't have one so they didn't. We got our first cell phone after Brad graduated from Dental School in 2008. It was a flip phone and we found it convenient. We only could afford one at the time and didn't find we needed two so that was the way it stayed for a while. I could always say to my kids, who wanted a phone from about 5th grade on, that they never needed one. Then they asked me, "When will I get one?" And I'd answer, "Not until after I have one." Of course when we bought the practice here all that changed. Brad found, at that time, that he needed to be able to contact me more so we signed up for a 2nd phone. A 2nd flip phone. When my kids asked me if they would get a phone I still said no. They didn't need one. Are there times when it would be convenient to text my children. Yes, definitely. Are there times when it would be convenient for them to have one, again, yes definitely. But do they have one yet? No. Will I get them one? Probably. Probably one to share...as a family. And certainly not a smart phone. And my resolve only gets more firm as I learn more and more about what my iphone can do.
And when I read an article like
this I know I'm doing the right thing.
And again, this decision has made my kids a bit...odd, different.
And just so you parents that have given their children phones know...I'm not judging. I know that some great parents give their kids cell phones...better parents than me probably. I know there are ways to monitor their usage and see all that gets texted. I'm just glad that I haven't given my children access to all the technology out there. I'm glad my kids are different. It's made them learn to be okay with being the "only one" .
Jordan starts high school this fall. There are going to be a lot of challenges as he enters high school. While only a select few have started to smoke pot, drink or have sex soon EVERYONE will be doing it. He will be made fun of for not doing the same things that his peers are doing. He will. He will be thought ill of for his beliefs and his morals. My sister told me a story of some good mormon boys who were trying to not date seriously. They never dated the same girl more than twice so they could stay out of a serious relationship. The girls in their school dubbed them as "players" and they developed a poor reputation because of their desire to stay pure. They can distort it one way...or another. Just this year Jordan was asked if he was gay because he wouldn't look at some porn a friend tried to show him. This kind of stuff will only get worse. And yet, I feel like it's going to be okay. Because of these choices I've made, Jordan's already had to learn to be a bit "different", and so far he's been okay with that.
Note to readers: Ha! Ha! Point proven...one of my friends pointed out to me it's LeBron James note James Lebron.
